Junior has missed a deadline to cough up $750,000 bucks he owes the feds as part of his plea bargain. Gee, that�s a lot of wedding gifts, huh? Maybe he has some cash stuck in a wall somewhere but he just can't remember where. Betcha if he "axes" nicely, the feds will be happy to smash open a wall or two for him. If the wall comes up empty though, he's gonna owe the government an awful lot of vig (the government will call it interest, not vig) something he can well understand, after all, he's the alleged boss of the Gambino Crime Family. Gambinos are no strangers to loansharking and as boss you always get a piece of the action...tributes it's called in wiseguy jargon.

So if he's the boss...then he should get money from his capos for being the boss. I once read that his dad used to reel in about $60,000 a week. Well not as good as Seinfeld, but I'd take it! Yeah, yeah, yeah, it�s all cash from ill-gotten gains so he can't pay the government with that. That would be asking for trouble and another six years!

Junior's lawyers, all 5 of them, are confident that he'll find the cash. Of course it would never occur to them, all 5 of them, to discount their fees, being that junior and his dad are such good clients.

The newspapers report that Junior is just another typical stressed-out New Yorker trying to get a loan. Has he tried the Money Store yet? The papers didn't say. Stressed-out maybe�. But typical New Yorker? Nah! Most New Yorkers don't get charged by the feds with extortion, gambling and tax evasion, the feds love the tax evasion charge...its almost automatic! And how many New Yorkers have fathers spending life in prison for being the �boss of bosses.� Most New Yorkers wouldn't be caught dead in those leisure suits!

"It is taking some time [to get the cash], as these things always do," said Sarita Kedia, one of his 5 lawyers. I wonder where she stands in the pecking order. Kedia said she�d probably ask the judge in the case to extend the sentencing date so Junior can pay up. And for this she gets paid? Probably 500 bucks an hour too! No wonder Junior has no money! Geez, Junior, I could of told you that, and I've never been inside a law school!

Junior 's troubles don't end here (violins, wake up!). In addition to the $750,000, he's gotta pay $40,000 for unreported income from a Connecticut gambling ring and another $43,000 in back federal taxes. And if he owes federal tax, I betcha he owes New York state something too. A something that the state isn't likely to forget.

The FEDS have seized a lot of Junior's assets already, including his Oyster Bay mansion. I guess Kim and the kids will have to move in with grandma and grandpa Albanese of Valley Stream for a bit. Hey, why doesn't sister Victoria take everybody in? If its ok with Carmine, that is. She could write another book like the �Ten Habits of Highly Unsuccessful Wiseguys.� Junior and pop could be the poster boys for the book promos!

Well, the feds haven't gotten everything Junior owns. Another lawyer says there's a split- level in Massapequa and two commercial lots for sale. The trouble is, they are so heavily mortgaged that Junior doesn't have much equity in them. I think a sharp real estate broker could get Junior a good price. It�s all in the marketing...the ad could read "Junior owns this cozy spilt-level home"...sort of like �Washington slept here.� Why it�s practically a historic landmark! Just think what fun the new owners could have searching for a hidden treasure! And those commercial lots, who knows how many guys got their knees busted in that shrubbery. If those weeds could talk!

Kedia has said of those properties, �that�s not where the large amounts of money are." Well, Sarita...where are the large amounts of money?

Show me the money! I promise I won't tell the feds.

caio!
francesca

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