The House of Holy Hooters
INSIDE VEGAS by Steve Miller
May 5, 2003
Bartholomew Rizzolo, Ralph
Rizzolo, and the Reverend, Dr. Annette Rizzolo-Patterson
talking to their attorney during
February 20, 2003, FBI, IRS raid of the Crazy Horse Too
“The House of Holy Hooters,” "Churchgate,"
“St. Frederick of the Holy Stripper,” or even “The Church of Sementology,”
one way or the other this issue seems sinfully salacious. The question
is, how did "sacred ground" get involved in a scheme to stop the zoning
of a topless joint?
We are still confused by the subtleties of this
thing, so let's bone up (no pun intended) on the cast of characters. Now
pay attention, this get complicated:
Its speculated that the Reverend, Dr. Annette
Marie Rizzolo-Patterson, Crazy Horse Too skin joint owner Fred
Rizzolo’s sister, with the help of a City Councilman conspired to set
up a “pop
up Church” next door to Presidential Advisor and former Ambassador
to Iceland Sig
Rogich’s not-so-sacred ground which is the site of the about-to-open
Board Room Gentleman's Club just down the street from the aging Crazy Horse.
It is thought that the Reverend and the Councilman conspired to stop a
zone change and squelch competition. If that is not correct, we’ll stick
to giving spelling lessons....Repeat after me: "Sermon is spelled with
an O not an E. Semen is spelled with an E not an O."
If the "pop up Church" materialized with the help
of a Councilman just to throw a monkey wrench into the licensing of a competitive
topless joint, it was well known that it would have taken Divine Intervention
to get a Vegas judge to convict the wayward politician. So, for a while
it looked like "All's well that ends well" - at least until the next Council
It was thought that Sin City Mayor Oscar Goodman
should've called a Special Meeting of the City Council regarding this matter
to receive testi-mony, or maybe a long overdue Show
Cause Hearing was more in order, but he conveniently stayed out of
The plan was clear. If the "Universal
Church for Life Enhancement" could set up its pews across the street
before Sig could get the zoning changed on his land, there would be no
zoning changed! HALLELUJAH!
There may be a few REAL clergymen and clergywomen
who would like to articulate themselves on this subject to those responsible
for the law that made this whole charade possible. Its enough to give religion
a bad name!
Well, the "Church" got there first and Sig supposedly
got so hot he hightailed it back to Iceland to chill out. Then this notice
appeared in a local paper saying that a familiar City Councilman would
be preaching on Sunday morning.
We called the number listed for the "Church" and
received a recorded "Inspirational Message" in a deep throaty (a little
play on words) female voice that said, “Thank you for calling the world
famous all new, bigger and better than ever Crazy Horse Too gentlemen's
When we asked if Councilman McDonald would be
preaching at Sunday's service, the voice asked, "What kind of service would
Lets see now – #1 - A new “Church” opened just
across the street from a larger proposed topless club that's not far from
the Crazy Horse on land once owned by Presidential Advisor Sig Rogich.
#2 - Its discovered that the “Reverend” of the
"Church" is the bookkeeper at the competition-paranoid Crazy Horse and
the sister of the club’s owner.
#3 - This new “Church,” with the help of a mob
connected Councilman, takes advantage of an arcane city law prohibiting
adult businesses from being located too near a place of worship thus almost
killing Sig’s plan to sell the land at millions of dollars more than its
worth without the T. & A enhancement.
#4 - Councilman Mike McDonald, known to be real
close to Mr. Rizzolo, reportedly preaches at the "Church" one Sunday morning,
but is soon found guilty
by the city Ethics Board of doing Rizzolo favors
away from the pew.
#5 - The feds raid
the topless joint and seize a warehouse full of documents, cash registers,
ATM machines, and video surveillance tapes.
#6 - The politically powerful “Sig Machine” allegedly
goes into action and the Councilman's bid for a third term hits an iceberg.
Then several hapless Crazy Horse patrons
end up at the local trauma unit, or the morgue after tangling with club
bouncers over allegedly padded bills. But, nobody at the Horse is heard
Letizia, "Information Minister" for the Crazy place, goes into action
to make Fred look Saint
like, and McDonald calls Rizzolo a "Pillar
of the community" at a Council meeting.
Several assault and battery lawsuits are filed
against Rizzolo and his bouncers, and a racketeering lawsuit surfaces accusing
the Reverend's brother of harboring “Acts
of prostitution and sales of illegal drugs.” The court document even
describes in lurid legal detail “’friction dances' wherein the male customer
puts on a condom and the 'dancer' straddles the customer and manipulates
her body against the male customer so as to arouse or gratify the sexual
desire of the male customer.”
The town's mayor rewards the Reverend's brother
with a new law so he can expand
(his business) and employ teenage
strippers to add more "friction."
A federal grand jury is embodied, criminal indictments
are imminent, and the Crazy Horse's "Information Minister" says everything
is A-OK. In fact, he even vows to sue
the FBI and IRS when its over, and Fred keeps smiling through it all.
Well, we know this does not imply that “friction
dances” will occur during Sunday services at Rizzolo-Patterson’s “Church,”
but we can guarantee that there will be more than enough “friction” generated
by this titillating scam to arouse even the most flaccid local politician
after the feds get finished.
Incidentally, is there an opening for an experienced
prison chaplain at Club Fed - someone who has spent a lot of time "rehabilitating"
at her brother's "Half Way House?"
Its believed that if the feds have their way,
a 26,000 square foot warehouse will soon be available on Industrial Road
to house the biggest new "Church" in Sin City. Then the recorded "Inspirational
Message" may say, "Thank you for calling the world famous all new, bigger
and better than ever Universal Church for Life Enhancement, formerly the
Crazy Horse Too."
Stay tuned. It gets better!
Copyright © Steve Miller
email Steve Miller at: Stevemiller4lv@aol.com